Too Can Play

Last night we attended the wedding of my girlfriend’s former co-medtech, Melanie Madrazo. The bride was my girlfriend’s friend.

(May pagkamalandi ang puta)

The groom was a doctor from their affiliate clinic.

Boy, was he ugly as shit.

Ayaw ko sana sumama… di naman ako “close” doon sa mga kakasal…

I’d rather have gone to the convention… if only I was given a choice from the very start… Not just because I am the boyfriend so I have to go too.

The bride jokes about me being her ex (started since 2006 when she was still working with my gf).

Excuse me. Bitch. I don’t stoop down to cunt-jugglers like you.

The last part of the reception was a game. The grammatically-challenged dumbass emcee hosted the program. To cover up for her awkwardness hosting, she would put the guests on the spot.

The guests were mostly doctors & other professionals, and other rich asswipes.

Honestly, if it weren’t for the food, the venue and the exotic animals… I would have done something or gone somewhere else.

Hey, who would miss a free buffet, right?

Back to the freakshow:

The traditional flower and garter catching ceremony became a last-minute-concocted game.

The first part was for single male guests. So several guys were called “onstage” and were given a balloon each. The groom was first to blow a balloon. Whoever had the biggest balloon next to the groom’s was the “winner”.

The brother of the groom won.

Was he uglier than shit.

The brother was seated in the middle of the “stage” (center) and was blindfolded.

The bride then called names of single females, one of which was my girlfriend.

(Although my girlfriend kept telling me she didn’t want to be noticed by the bride, it’s a mystery why she didn’t immediately sneak away when I stood up to go to the restroom then go out the reception area. Instead, she stalled by playing with the name tags on the dinner table and fidgeting with her stuff. Until the bride called her name. Funny how an excuse completely contradicts an action.

The single females stood behind the male “winner”. They were each asked for name and relationship status.

Next the emcee asked the “winner” the following questions, each eliminating other “single female contestants”

- if he preferred wearing a long gown or a short skirt.

- if he preferred hair that was “nakalugay” or “nakatali”

My girlfriend was the last one remaining. So she “won”.

The final part of the game was the “winners” imitating 3 poses done by the groom & bride.

- The first was a holding of hands.

- The second one, the groom kissed the neck of the bride.

- The third was a kiss on the cheek.

Then the wedding garter was worn on my girlfriend’s thigh. The crowd cheered to raise the garter higher on her thigh. Then cheered again to raise it higher.

The go-getter bride whore waved a peace sign to me, with a wily smile. I ignored her.

The brother of the groom tried to escort my girlfriend to our table.

We stood up to take pictures outside the reception garden/area. She was defensive of how the guy kissed on her neck. She said, as the common excuse goes, “It was only a game”. A person can only be stupid enough not to realize when one is really playing a game or taking advantage.

She told me that she tapped the groom on the head for making the kiss-on-the-neck pose. She could have tapped the brother (the one who kissed her neck) instead. The game was to pose, not to kiss. She could have refused to let the garter go higher. She should have not let the guy take control of her.

She could have done something to emphasize boyfriend-girlfriend commitment/exclusivity.

As always, after being so conscious/trying-to-impress with a crowd and losing focus to what she’s doing (which happens most of the time that we end up being on-the-spot), she had a barrage of excuses. Plus the blame was on me.

Damn them, for all I care.

I have to keep my respect for myself.

I even changed my pretty-chick-sightseeing ways. Tingin kabayo na nga ako e. (Looking straight forward like a horse, to avoid staring at other girls).

It’s been years since I’ve quit my infamous two/three/four-timing mode and multiple-flinging ways.

Relationships have rules and obligations. Boundaries.

I can play games too.